Ms. Green is Sparkin’: Intro to SparkinHoof
by CincyDispensary.com
By day, Marcie Green was just another overworked, underappreciated marketing assistant at Brand-o-Rama Corp. But by night, she was the reigning queen of her couch, armed with a fluffy blanket, a pint of mint chip ice cream, and her favorite sitcom reruns. All of that changed one Thursday evening, when her roommate, Cassie, left a joint on the coffee table with a cheeky note: “For when the spreadsheets fight back.”
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Marcie hesitated at first. She wasn’t much of a smoker, save for that one disastrous college party where she ate an entire pizza by herself and cried during a cat food commercial. But tonight, something in her spirit said, Why not? The spreadsheets had been particularly vicious.
As she lit the joint and took her first cautious puff, something remarkable happened. The air shimmered around her. Her reflection in the TV screen warped and shifted. Her arms stretched into long, elegant legs, her hair cascaded into a pearlescent mane, and a glittering horn sprouted from her forehead.
“WHOA,” she gasped—or at least she tried to. Instead, it came out as a hearty whinny.
Marcie galloped to the mirror. She was no longer a tired, 32-year-old human. She was a majestic, glitter-laden unicorn. Her hooves sparkled with each step. Her horn pulsed with what could only be described as justice vibes.
Before she could fully process her new magical equine form, Marcie heard a commotion outside. A group of masked thieves was sprinting down the street, a sack of cash in hand, with a flustered store clerk chasing after them.
Instinct took over. Marcie kicked open the door (surprisingly effective, given the hooves), charged outside, and summoned a rainbow lasso from her horn. “Halt, in the name of glitter and good vibes!” she neighed.
The thieves froze, equal parts stunned and terrified. It’s not every day you get tackled by a prismatic horse wielding a rainbow rope. In a flash of sparkling light, Marcie tied them up and handed them over to the police, who didn’t question the bizarre nature of their savior.
“You’re a hero!” the store clerk gushed, handing Marcie a complimentary pack of gum as a thank-you.
By the time Marcie returned to her apartment, the effects of the joint were wearing off, and so was her unicorn form. She found herself back on the couch, disheveled but exhilarated.
The next morning, Cassie peeked out of her room. “Hey, did you smoke that joint last night?”
Marcie smirked, sipping her coffee. “You could say I sparkled under pressure.”
And so began the adventures of Sparkinhoof, the magical unicorn who fought crime whenever Marcie needed to unwind.
Moral of the story: Sometimes, a little stress relief can unlock your inner hero—but don’t forget, the real magic lies in taking action and standing up for what’s right. 🌈… to be continued.
SparkinHoof: The Unicorn Adventures of Ms. Green is a new series by cincydispensary.com.
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